Because Nobody Asked for this Either--Kel Muiper's Draft Grades
by Glen Reed
I was too swamped or out of it to do a pre-draft analysis, so here's Mel's bald brother Kel's assessment of the 1968 UL entry draft. By hook or by crook, Kel finagled some time at Stanford, so he knows a thing or two about grade inflation--nobody gets an "F" and the curve leans heavily to the left.

DETROIT -- "A" Boxers or briefs? Tastes great, or less filling? Pamela or Carmen? Bonds or Reggie? Fuck that, give me both!!! And for good measure, throw on Ellis at #16--the Perry/Barber/Jay clone came after a run of four MRs and some dude named Crawford. With a little development, Bonds (#4) figures to be a rangey CF with a gun, power, and wheels to boot. Reggie (#7) can provide the lefty pop so long absent in Motown. Look ahead two seasons and you can see a potent Griffin 1 through 6 that goes Menke, Yaz, Allen, Reggie, Bonds, Howard, fronting a rotation of Ramos, John, Jay, Ellis, and Hands. Rarely does a guy pull three legit starters out of a draft; for that, the Griffs earn Kel's highest grade.

SAN FRANCISCO -- "B+" on the strength of Moose, regarded by many as the best SP in the draft, and Bosman, regarded by some as the swoop of the draft. But Kel can't give an "A" because he has a thing against drafting relievers too high (Ray at #14). And that's especially true in this case, because the Spiders already had the best young 'pen in the game last year, and a pre-draft trade brought, guess what?, a solid MR spect in the form of Zachary. To top it all off, the best C-spect not named Bench was still on the board in the form of Dave Duncan, and at a position of need.

ST. LOUIS -- "B+" A Maroon side with some of the very best young positional spects in the game used picks #3, 12, 23, and 24 to add hurlers to a staff that finished one off the bottom in 1967. So many peeps were down on Ryan (#3 overall) for his bum control, but Smith gets props for snagging one of only two SPs in the draft with talent that summed to 12, including the all-important 5 for movement. And Dobson at #23 brings talent comparable to some late first-round picks, making for a great value play. But much like SF, the use of a first (Sparky Lyle #12) to draft a reliever earns a demerit, especially following a recent first-rounder used to acquire the team's current closer. But overall, a draft that should provide immediate and lasting succor to baseball fans from Wien to the Gateway City.

BOSTON -- "B" The Feds had but one pick in the first three rounds, but what a winning selection it was. Koosman (#5) partners other recent high draftees Nolan and Cuellar to form, along with Chris Short, what is easily the best rotation in Federales history.

DALLAS -- "B" is for Bench. I know what you're thinking--how can a guy that talked up Bench like the second-coming only give the team that selected him a "B"? Mostly because the rest of the Dallas draft is reminiscent of a college roommate's infamous Salvador Dali poster--intriguing, but ultimately off-putting. True, OF was an area of need, but Crawford (#13 overall) and Unser (#25) sound more like NASCAR drivers than two-thirds of a pennant-winning outfield. Pundits had been calling for Ellis or Bosman in Crawford's spot to meet another glaring need--viable hurlers.

LOS ANGELES -- "B" Kel's a fan of the dong . . . um, anyhoo, when it comes to pitching, he wants guys that can suppress dongs, and that requires movement talent; as a result, he favored Ellis over Bahnsen in the #10 spot. Bahnsen is cut from the same 2/4/4 cloth as a bunch of other guys in the draft, to say nothing of Big Red McGlothlin, last year's 2/4/4 first-rounder and this year's fourth starter. And we already know how Kel feels about taking relievers early (Paul #15); nevertheless, these picks do fill gaping holes (no dong jokes, please), so some pundits quite like the Bandit draft to this point. But the real heist was the Outlaws making off with the aforementioned Duncan at #22, addressing perhaps the one weakness in LA's deep system, catcher.

CHICAGO -- "B-" The Ponies had but one pick in the draft, and used it to take Ron "Don't Call me Glen" Reed (#9), the best of the 2/4/4 starters popping up all over this and other drafts like those retarded zombies in "Night of the Living Dead." Reed's ratings sum to 21, which is great, but one wonders how long he can defy talent gravity before coming back down to earth, much like Wilbur "Woke up with" Wood, last year's #1 selection currently laboring in the long relief role. Truly, no knock on Colts, but a problem endemic to every draft since switching either eras or games going back to OOTP 2007 is the omnipresent 2/4/4 starter. They're everywhere, like so many pork chop bones at a baptist picnic. But if everyone has them, how good are they really? In other words, in absolute terms, it's good to have a 20- or 21-rated starter. But in relative terms, essentially every team (except Texans and Monuments) has a 2/4/4 20-rated fourth starter. So I guess as long as Reed can hang on to that extra point, he's better than those guys, but the history of 2/4/4 dudes suggests an eventual return to the pitching pack.

MANHATTAN -- "B-" There's a theory that the Gray Sox biggest need was on the mound, so how disappointing to see the big three SPs go in front of them. But what a consolation prize--in Sal "3/4/4" Bando (#6), the cosmopolitans landed the single most talented position player in the draft (setting aside the brutal 2/4/5 of Frank Fernandez), who also happens to ply his trade at a premium position. But with their only other selection in the first three rounds, the Gray Sux committed the cardinal sin in Kel's eyes of using pick #11 on an MR, despite the presence of viable SP candidates still on the board, to say nothing of Willie Crawford (!).

WASHINGTON -- "D" because nobody who pays that much in tuition gets an F, but fudge!!! As a long-time supporter of Aiton and someone who's seen the savvy Scott operate in other leagues, this one was a head-scratcher. Analysts were calling for Pattin to partner the emerging star Jim Nash and put an end to those chants of "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher" echoing around Griffith Stadium. Indeed, the Mons were second in the league in runs scored in 1967, but dead last in runs allowed. Nevertheless, the Glasgow dandy used fully five picks to select positional spects. What's more, the lefty power-poking Reggie Jackson was taken seventh overall, only to be traded for . . . a lesser pick and positional spect. In the immortal words of Twiki, "Bidi, bidi, Buck?"

BROOKLYN -- "Incomplete" The draft-and-trade of Pattin (#8) leaves this one an open question pending the outcome of Atlanta's picks this time next year. The take on the second-round selection of backstop Dietz is also inconclusive--Kel has a mancrush on Duncan, but can see how a guy could prefer Dick. A Dietz/Josephson platoon in future years looks partiuclarly promising, assuming a trade of the frankly disappointing McCarver.