*NYG 13-6 vs. CLE

W E S T   D I V I S I O N

E A S T   D I V I S I O N

CHICAGO COLTS
92-62*   --   (+6)    *franchise best

BROOKLYN SUPERBAS
102-52   --   (-6)

Happy Horses Muzzle Nay Sayers
Top Story:  Colts gallop to first World Series
appearance.
Headline:  Rumpled Pierceskin – My two aces watch the Fall Classic from their hospital beds.
Lead Story:  Banks Holiday – Ernie’s Magic Shapes Rounded O
Scoop:  Sturdivant Helps!  Sturdivant helps!

The Colts did everything right.  They probably could’ve taken the division without their yearly blockbuster trade, but no one could question the addition of Billy Pierce.  And though some watched closely for the seemingly inevitable stumble in the
final lap, GM Lance Mueller was counting on one simple fact:  speed never slumps.  The running ponies had a full 70 stolen bases (233) over the next fastest GothFeds (163).  Most notably, Rookie Chuck Hinton scammed 41 bags despite playing in only 87 games.  The next couple years look promising as Pierce and Erskine return to anchor the rotation, and the
Gibraltar-like Offense will only get better.  -- Charlie Qualls
 

LOUISVILLE COLONELS
81-73  11 GB  (-14)

DETROIT GRIFFINS
76-78  26 GB  (+21)*     *most improved

Colonel Of Truth
Top Story:  Ant Music Rocks The House – Simple Cy man gets his pie, man.
Lead Story:  Please Hammer, Hurt ‘Em – Aaron pops off
another bangin’ year.
Comics Page:  Shantz Can’t Dance – Funny name, tragic
performance.
Yesterday’s Headline:  Briss And Wey – Past Their Day?  Both had solid years, but both were a full run over last year’s ERA.
Editorial:  Don’t Have A Scow, Man!  Bill S. is quietly awesome once again.

In normal circumstances, departing GM/Skipper Ben DeGrass may have made a mid-season play for an arm or two, try for one last shot at glory before heading into the great expanse of expansion.  But that would probably mean swapping out some solid prospects or draft picks, not a nice thing to do when handing back the team to it’s original owner, Mark Allen.  Still, a bit of a let down from this potentially potent offense, as Al Kaline and Frank Thomas both turned in downer years.  Aside from Johnny A., all things rotation will be dicey the next few years as young starters Steve Barber and Jim Maloney are still maturing, and old handys Herm Wehmeir and Lou Brissie are priming out.  The offense will still be among the League’s most
dangerous.  Welcome Back, Mark!  -- Charlie Qualls
 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
So said some silly Englishman a couple centuries back, recounting life in a hard-knock metropolis. Little did my man know he was prefiguring the fate of the 1961 UL Griffins, denizens of another notorious urban center. To wit: 1) The Winged Freaks are the most improved team in the circuit, but still managed to finish below .500. 2) The Griffs have the best pitching prospect on the planet, but he just got downgraded--twice. 3) You're tanking for draft position, but somehow defy gravity the final month of the season, costing yourself five spots. 4) Second-place finish equals club's best ever; but 26 games games back of first. 5) Beaked Lions manage positive run differential for only third time in club history; it's barely single digits. But for all the knocks, the Griffs can look forward to 1962 with great expectations--and you know how that story turns out!  -- Glen Reed
 

LOS ANGELES OUTLAWS
73-81  19 GB  (+8)

NEW YORK GRIFFINS
73-81  29 GB  (+2)

West Implants On The Way
Headline:  The Future’s No Riot – The accumulation of young talent continues.
Religion:  Sermon On The Mound – Church is rotation’s saving grace
Weather:  L.A. Son Shines All Year Round – Frankly, he’s hot stuff
Obituary:  Gil Sleeps With The Fishes – Hodges codgers out

The Outlaws looked like they might compete after the first few weeks of play, but they avoided the temptation of spending the big chunk of dough collecting interest in the bank.  They also clung tightly to their formidable prospect pile.  The “Vays
That Pays” knows that his bread is buttered in the future. Blessed with far and away the best young talent pool in the West, the Outlaws will be swimming with the big kids for a long time to come.  But as for ’61?  Well, not much to speak of.
25-year-old Bill Mazeroski turned in his best performance thus far.  Hank Aguirre handed in a career year as well, leading the team with 17 wins.  And of course mighty Frank Robinson has etched himself as one of the UL’s top-tier sluggers.  -- Charlie Qualls

NYG we hardly knew ye!
That's right, after a year marking a third straight third place finish and the best record of the Shawn Martin era, the Gothams are pulling up stakes and heading for Beantown. Cruel treatment for long-suffering Goth supporters--they got only the barest glimpse of such future stars as Tommy D., Gonzo, and Consolo, among others, before seeing them spirited away to Fenway. But there's something to the move--the New York lineup as currently constituted is dominated by righty-hitting gap pokers, to which Fenway caters, but Yankee Stadium punishes. In any event, the improvements wrought in 1961 rest entirely with the pitching staff, as the club yielded fully a hundred fewer runs than the prior year. Credit much of the improvement to the maturation of guys name of Gibbon, Friend, and Loes. But give a nod also to a management decision to bench Bob "Whiplash" Purkey, who still managed to allow 20+ taters in 130 IP, in favor of Stan "Tookie" Williams. The gangland kingpin put tons of mugs on base, but surrendered only eight jacks in a like number of starts to Purkey the turkey. The offense, while young and promising, is so far anemic. The GothFeds finished just 20 runs off the bottom of the league, and were in fact dead last in walks and eighth in average and home runs. You can see this dynamic at work in the final series of the year, in which the Gothams tallied just three total runs, losing two of the contests by the score of 1-0. In any event, Boston fans at least can look forward to a brighter tomorrow, when all that young talent matures into a thumping side indeed. -- Glen Reed
 

ST LOUIS MAROONS
70-84*  22 GB  (-2)    *franchise worst

CLEVELAND BARONS
73-81  29 GB  (-20)*    *biggest drop

What The Flux??
Top Story:  Score Off The Floor – Herb-ivore proves he’s the meat of the rotation, despite leafy run support.
Tomorrow’s Headline:  An Excellent Monbouquette – Bill to thrill in coming years.
Fluff Piece:  Kokos No Marshmallow – Dick stays hard.
Buried Lead:  Maroons Field League’s 2nd Best Offense – But it’s the pitching that smells like number 2.
Finance Page:  A Million Per Win – 70 mil ain’t what it used to be.

Not a bad transition year for the Maroons as the young offense is really starting to pull together. But the “safety in numbers” approach to the pitching staff has not gone so well.  Score and Monbouquette will need more help than a fluke year from Larry Jackson.  However, this squad seems to be only a couple arms
away from competing again.  Some bright stars in the Maroon Galaxy:  Don Blasingame is turning into the UL’s premiere lead-off man.  Floyd Robinson must have just missed being ROY
by a hair.  The Torre/Stuart 1B tandem was re-united with great success.  Roger Maris is a one trick pony with the bat, but that’s one impressive trick!  Jim Brosnan gave the gasping bullpen a feint pulse.  -- Charlie Qualls
 

Grinnin’ and Baron It
1961 was the year the Barons were a bit like that girl at the bar when you’ve had a few too many scotch and sodas: she looks good a first but then you wake up the next morning, roll over, and you’ve got a Howard Stern look-a-like lying next to you. At the beginning of the season, GM Charlie Qualls seemed to have all of the pieces in place to make a run at the East title, but it didn’t take long for him to realize that hill of beans he was trying to climb was more like Mt. Fuji. But not to despair, Ballsy Quallsy decided to repair (via trade) and prepare (for a future not dominated by the monolithic ‘Bas). Out went Pierce and Cash, in came an arsenal of young arms – anybody wanna smoke a “Fat” Juan – young talent – that’ll be two Schillin’, Mr. White – and an additional 1^st round rookie to boot. So, yes, a twenty game reversal in the win column has gotta be tough to swallow, but one gets the feeling Cleveland’s GM is doing it with a big ol’ Cheshire cat shit-eatin’ grin on his face. The Big Brown Ones now have a young pitching pool to rival the Griffs, and no one questions their ability to score runs. The only thing left to do is wait and see how long it takes for all the ingredients of CBQ’s magic potion to finally be the right mix, and then, blammo!, watch him pull a division title out of his hat.  -- Lance Mueller

SAN FRANCISCO SPIDERS
64-90  28 GB  (-4)

WASHINGTON MONUMENTS
66-88  36 GB  (+9)

Spider Sense Not Tingling
Top Story:   Boys Of Summer Cool Down – Where’s the love San Fran?
Dining Out:  Killer Brew On Tap – Get your Harm on!
Senior Living:  Can Campy Stay Continent?  Depends.
Classifieds:  Arms Needed!  All types, all sizes.  Apply within or without.  Seriously, can you throw?

Well, the "Quake of ’61" is over, but clean up will be slow going. There are some solid young bats on the horizon, but the pitching disaster is starting to exceed radiation levels.  At 37, workhorse Bob Porterfield could blow at any time.  Young Juan
Pizarro may be crumbling under the stress of having no back up. Tom “Maybe I AM a Dick” Cheney was of little use.  Only staff ace Ron Kline seemed to keep a cool head under pressure. And the bullpen?  They... how you say...? ah yes, sucked giant eggs.  The good news (or bad news) is that the expandoleros probably won’t be picking from this bunch of overripe bananas.  At least the offense gave the SF faithful something to watch.   Hector Lopez performed as expected, contributing a career high 73 RBI.  Rocky Colavito continues to K.O. opposing pitching.  Harmon Killebrew’s steady power stream should land him at the top of the homer pile before long.  -- Charlie Qualls
 

Apropos of nothing, I thought I'd use a Christmas theme. "Good God, is that a turd in your stocking? Oh, no, that's Stu Miller." Indeed, Captain Stu-bing reached never-before-seen depths of awfulness during a season in which his name was erased from the league record book where it used to say "single season wins: 28", and written in beside this entry: "single season losses: 26." How bad is bad? Stuey allowed a mind-boggling 200 earned runs. That's almost exactly the same number he allowed in *three* seasons from 1953-55. Incredibly, this year's 26 losses are more than he recorded in the four years from 1953-56. This goes a long way toward explaining why Washington was the worst pitching team in the circuit in 1961, and in the relegation zone for a third straight season. The shine on Miller's turd, though, is that all the losing nets you high draft picks, and the Mons' farm system is far and away the class of the league. Look ahead a few seasons to see an infield of Yaz-Howard-Hansen-Santo and you start to get the idea that a crappy 1961 is merely another step on the road to a return to Monumental greatness.  -- Glen Reed
 

League Finances Approaching Equilibrium
The United League enjoyed its third year of profits in 1961, though the black ink was thinner this year, suggesting that the league may be approaching an equilibrium point between costs and revenues.  The league posted an aggregate profit of $14.9 million this year, down from $43 million last year and nearly $67 million the year before.  The biggest factor was a 5.6% drop in attendance, coupled with a modest increase in the league's aggregate payroll.

ATTENDANCE DOWN
   Attendance dipped to 17.9 million, its lowest level since 1958.  Only pennant winners Brooklyn and Chicago saw an increase over last year -- Chicago's a dramatic surge of over a half million patrons.  The biggest attendance drops were suffered by Detroit (down 650,000 despite winning 21 more games), St. Louis (down 364,000 to its lowest level in 10 years), and Louisville (down 250,000 from last year's pennant-winning draw.  Brooklyn again led the league in attendance, for the fifth year running, with a new league record of 2.74 million paying customers.  The New York Gothams had the league's lowest attendance (1.37 million).  Owner Shawn Martin announced in midseason that the club would relocate to Boston next season, leading to a significant drop in attendance despite the league's lowest ticket price ($8).

PAYROLLS UP MODESTLY; NEW YORK, CHICAGO, LOS ANGELES MOST PROFITABLE
   The league's payroll was up 3.3% this year, to $57.4 million, continuing the pattern of creeping upward following the league's financial crisis in 1956-1958.  Payrolls dropped nearly 10 percent in 1959, after the league posted large deficits for three seasons.  Most of this year's $18 million increase was concentrated on two teams: Detroit, which added nearly $11 million in payroll, ending a three-year stint as the lowest-payroll team in the league (an honor now owned by the troubled Gothams); and St. Louis, which top $70 million in salaries for the first time, while losing a club record 84 games.  The Gothams trimmed nearly $5 million from its payroll continuing a four-year trend since its payroll peaked just shy of $70 million in 1957.
   The belt-tightening in the Bronx helped Martin's GothFeds to become the league's most profitable team, tied with Chicago at $10.3 million in profits, and narrowly ahead of L.A.'s $9.8 million profit.

Brooklyn's payroll continues to creep up under the cumulative pressures of performance bonuses and contract renewals.  The Bas doled out $69 million this year (2nd highest), and the club posted just $1 million in profits after three years of $5+ million profits.
Chicago won a club record 94 games with its second lowest payroll in the last six years.  The Colts earned a $10.3 million profit this year, which will help push its salary cap to $79 million next season.
Cleveland saw red ink for the third time in four seasons, losing $8 million and incurring a negative cash balance of $3 million after running up its highest payroll tab in club history ($65 million).
Detroit's era of mega-profits may be over, but the club continues to horde cash like nobody's business.  The club's first big ticket free agent signings in year shot the Griffins' payroll up $11 million to $49 million this year, its highest level in six years, but still third lowest in the league.  The club still made a $5.5. million profit, after $45 million over the last two seasons.
Los Angeles continues to build up its war chest.  The Outlaws earned nearly $10 million in profits this year, giving it a cash balance of over $26 million, second only to Motown.
Louisville, the club with perhaps the most stable financials from year to year, came closest to breaking even ($0.87 million in the red) after trimming its payroll by $3 million but bringing almost $2.5 million less revenue than last year's pennant-winning side.
New York played its last season in the Bronx and will pack up for Boston in the offseason.  The GothFeds payroll of $43.6 million was the lowest in club history, enabling owner Shawn Martin to take a $20 million war chest with him to Fenway Park.
St. Louis has all its numbers going in the wrong direction.  The Maroons set franchise records for payroll and losses, as attendance dropped to a 10-year low.  The club did manage to draw over 2 million for the 10th year running, a league record.  But Smith's record loss of $10 million will force the club to severely restrict its payroll next season.
San Francisco suffered another $4 million loss this year, which on top of last year's $6 million loss erases the $11 million balance the club enjoyed after its 1959 championship season.  Owner John Nellis upped his payroll by $15 million after winning the UL World Series, but the club won 68 games in 1960 and a league-low 64 this year.
Washington managed to dig out from its massive debt last year, and owner Doug Aiton maintained a balanced ledger in 1961, with the club earning a modest $1 million profit on top of last year's $3 million.

Size Does Matter……
by Sean Holloway
DETROIT (Oct. 5) – The annual financial rankings are out, and two things are clear: one, if you build it, they will come; and two, the firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe need to clean shop.  After an independent auditor took an intensive and extensive look at the firm’s financial rankings of years’ past, it became clear that someone at DC&H was – in the auditor’s professional opinion – “smoking crack”.
   Without getting into all the technical jargon, suffice it to say that DC&H made the simple exercise of ascertaining a UL club’s financial value into a myriad of missteps and poor assumptions, as well as a few choice debacles.  This turned an easy task into one more akin to complex space/time problems that Stephen Hawking would work on, such as examining our place in the Universe, or why the Detroit Lions suck year after year despite seemingly always having a top three draft pick.
   With 1961’s new streamlined valuations, Historical Team Position, Current Fan Interest, and City Size are the main barometers of a team’s fiscal health.  As the major metropolitan areas experience a surge in population growth, teams in large cities are becoming increasingly valuable, while the smaller markets – like Louisville – are taking it on the chin.  Regardless, this doesn’t seem to matter to plucky Louisville, as witnessed by the team’s second-place finish in the West.
   With that said, the complete franchise value rankings for 1961 are below: