United League

Big Name=Big Pain?
by Charlie Qualls
Carltons, Niekros and Seavers of the league beware! Sure, we know who you are NOW, but here’s a glimpse at who you could be tomorrow.

Don Drysdale - Bounced around, Cleveland gave him the longest look so far. But he’s still only thirty and keeping his head at the major league level.

Juan Marichal – Manito never quite got the hang of big city living, he's still shuffling around the minors.

Luis “I’m My Own Bullpen!” Tiant – Trying to get a leg up in Spiderville. He may have turned a corner, however. His record and ERA were deceptive in ’66. He capped 310 innings, whiffing 210 while throwing an insane 19 “Nine Full” jobs!

Catfish “Job” Hunter – The third year twenty-year-old continues to pay his dues in Dallas. Maybe when he’s legal he can have a drink and relax - he should be out of the hospital by then.

Jim "No I" Kaat – Burned out at 28? Either way, he’s being relied upon less and less by the LA organization.

Mickey Lolich – Manhattan still believes in him, and with Grannyball bouncing into an already busting offense, “Cut Me” Mick could see a winning record
despite a fourth straight sub-five ERA.

Denny McLain – He was lucky to see any UL playing time. Now it seems there’s not even room for him in the pure Sugar King rotation. But Mac doesn’t mind,
his spicy Cuban club (mmm) is having way more fun than those Manhattan fat cats.

Sandy Koufax and Bob Gibson - For the past five seasons, these two have been walking hand-in-hand into oblivion. Before that, Koufax was blowing on his own.
Their combined career ERA's are in the high fours. But the sun may be going down on at least one of these guys as Mr. Holloway may soon need to get his Hands dirty.

Milt Pappas and Al Downing – Will most likely be huge stars, uh… somewhere in the deep South. Next time you see them (you won’t) they’ll have borderline silly
names stitched across their chests.

Warren “Grandaddy” Spahn – The epic, tragic Spahn swan song is only sung during “Dead People” holidays.

Of course there are plenty of exceptions, and I never even called it a rule. In fact, the “big name curse” trend seems to be in remission as there have been
excellent early results by Mike Cuellar, Don Sutton, Gaylord Perry, Ferguson Jenkins and Jim Palmer.

Boston Baseball Fans Look for Improvement
(But They Can't Find Any)
by Shawn Martin

BOSTON (Feb. 25) -- When the United League’s New York Gothams moved into the friendly confines of Fenway Park in 1963 and changed their name to the Boston Federals, General Manager Shawn Martin mentioned that he expected the team to contend for a title in just a couple of years. Years have passed (3 to be exact), and instead of improving upon the Federals 1965 81-81 record, the team regressed badly, turning into the 3rd worst team in the league with a dismal 67-94 in 1966.

Now, here in 1967 with the UL’s Free Agency period about to end, and the Feds’ not making any significant moves to improve, the fans in Boston are starting to get a bit antsy over the proposition of another long fruitless season. A period which began with Boston having $12M in available cap room has nearly come to a close without the Feds’ spending any significant amount of cash – only small low-cost deals involving players who will likely play in AAA.

“I don’t understand what the fack they are doing over theah at da Fens,” Charlie Wattkins of Mattapan states, “Is Mack Facking Jones gonna be the piece that puts em over da top? I can’t flippin believe that malarkey!” Unfortunately for GM Martin, Mr. Wattkins’ opinion is starting to be shared by a number of UL fans. "Who is closing games for us?" Franky Sullivan of Jamaica Plains asks, "Is Martin gonna go out there and pitch? Does he have a good slidah?"

When approached with this topic, GM Martin had this bit to say: “I can understand the frustration that folks out there are feeling. We have had a number of bad breaks over the years and it doesn’t seem that the league wants us to win.” Martin was likely referring to the 161 games the Feds’ played last year, rather than the league standard 162. The 2nd worst team in the league (Dallas) had a 67-95 record and received the #2 overall pick – the Feds finished at 67-94, percentage points ahead of the Texans, in one less game, earning the #3 pick. “That said the fault has to lie with me. I have picked the players. I have made the trades. I have made a couple of bad contract decisions that we are still making up for. All I can say to the Boston fans is that we dislike losing as much as they do, and we are working on getting to the postseason for the first time in franchise history.”

Boston has nine selections in this year’s entry draft, though only two of those are in the first two rounds.